


Fugue In Pink

by LittleMissLuna



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Friendship, Gen, Trans Bow (She-Ra), Transphobia, pre-season 2, with acceptance eventually!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22306981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissLuna/pseuds/LittleMissLuna
Summary: “There’s no wrong way to be a lady,” says Papa, clapping Bow firmly on the shoulder.Bow nods, but his heart sinks deeper into his chest. He doesn’t feel like his behavior is wrong. He just feels...wrong.-Trans!Bow fic for the Spectrum SPOP zine that was cancelled. Please note, this was written before season 2 came out, so my guesses about Bow's past and family life are off from the canon.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Fugue In Pink

He is five years old, and the tuile of his skirt scratches against his legs as he slides down the wall to sit, crumpled over himself at the edge of the ballroom. Dad had squeezed him into the dress before the party, despite his protests. Queen Angella’s annual gala was important for the morale of Brightmoon, he’d said, and what kind of grand ambassador would he be if his own child wouldn’t make an appearance?  
Still, thinks Bow, any other dress would have been better. The pink monstrosity he’s currently wearing is the most uncomfortable thing he owns. He surveys the room, eyeing with envy a few younger boys weaving through partygoers in a game of tag. He clutches the hem of his dress, denying himself the urge to join them.  
“Bow, are you feeling ok?” asks a familiar voice.   
Papa appears, bending down gracefully in his coattails. Bow almost laughs, amused at how different he looks outside of his usual lab goggles.  
“I hate this dress,” he says. “I want to go home.”  
Papa smiles in understanding. “I’m not the biggest fan of my attire, either. But Dad wanted us to go as a family. Don’t you want to go play with the other girls?”  
Bow shakes his head.  
“The boys, then?”  
Bow looks up. “Dad said it’s ‘unladylike’ to play with boys.”  
Papa guffaws loudly. “Unladylike! Have I introduced you to Queen Angella’s daughter?”  
He points to a space in the dead center of the dance floor, where a young girl is flailing wildly to the beat in what could be only loosely defined as dancing.  
“There’s no wrong way to be a lady,” says Papa, clapping Bow firmly on the shoulder.  
Bow nods, but his heart sinks deeper into his chest. He doesn’t feel like his behavior is wrong. He just feels...wrong.  
“Okay,” sighs Papa. “You know what? I’m feeling a bit tired, too. Why don’t we call it a night and leave the socializing to Dad?”  
“Can you teach me what you were talking about earlier?” asks Bow. “About programming tracking devices?”  
Papa beams, glowing with pride. “Of course, my love. Of course.”

-  
-

Bow examines his handiwork in the mirror, the neatly-wrapped bandages on his chest barely betraying the swell of newly developing breasts. Tighter, he thinks, removing the cloth and winding it around his torso again. With every shallow breath he feels the bindings dig deeper into his skin.  
“Perfect,” he mutters, throwing on a shirt.  
Both of his fathers are in the kitchen when he goes in for breakfast; Papa at his usual post cooking eggs and sausages; Dad at the table, nose buried in a newspaper from some far-off country. They turn to look at him as he enters.  
“Morning!” chirps Papa. Dad offers no morning greeting, looking up only to eye Bow up and down.  
“You’re dressed like that again,” he notes, returning to his paper.  
Bow sighs and takes a seat at the table, ignoring Papa’s apologetic glances. Normally, he would eat breakfast in determined silence. Today, he feels argumentative.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bow asks.  
Sensing conflict, Papa zips over, setting three plates piled high with breakfast on the table. “Let’s not do this today,” he says. “Let’s just have a pleasant-”  
“What I mean to ask,” interrupts Dad, setting down his newspaper as loudly as possible, “is how long are you planning on going through this tomboy phase?”  
“Darling, please,” Papa begs, putting a hand on his husband’s shoulder.   
Dad slaps it away. “She’s nearly a teenager. She needs to start acting like a proper woman.”  
Bow feels a sharp stab of pain in his chest. He’s had this argument time and time again. He’s tired of it. He stands up quickly, nearly knocking over his plate.   
“Where do you think you’re going?” snarls Dad as Bow rushes past him.  
“Out,” he replies. He storms from the kitchen and into the hallway where he pulls on his boots. Just as he reaches the door, Papa stops him with a firm hand on his shoulder.  
“Try to understand,” says Papa. “This is so...different for him. He hasn’t come around to having a son yet.”  
“I keep telling you, I was your son from the start!” Bow yells, suddenly enraged. “He’s just upset that he can’t show me off like a piece of jewelry at parties anymore.”  
“I’m sorry you feel that way, but-”  
“You’re not sorry!” Bow clenches his fists at his sides. “If you were sorry, you’d stand up to him for me. You’d tell him he’s wrong instead of making excuses!”  
And, if only to escape the look of shocked guilt on Papa’s face, Bow sprints through the door, slamming it angrily as he escapes across the fields of Brightmoon.  
He runs as far as he can without stopping. Both his fathers have connections all over the country and could have him found in a heartbeat if he stopped in one place for too long. Not that Dad would even bother trying to find him.  
As he runs out of steam, Bow notices pain accompanying every breath, a sensation which only worsens as he continues onward. His chest is constricted like a cat in a birdcage, every inhale expanding against the bindings and searing his skin.   
His breathing becomes ragged, his head light with the absence of air. The world spins around him, then vanishes.

-  
-

He wakes up to the sound of flurried motion, opening his eyes just enough to see a pink and purple blur hovering over him. A cool cloth is pressed to his forehead.  
“Where am I?” he mumbles.  
“My room,” says the figure, a young-sounding female. “I found you collapsed outside so I teleported us here. You’re the ambassador’s kid, right?”  
Bow tries to focus his vision, succeeding after several attempts. The girl who is caring for him is familiar, with tanned skin and bright eyes. He recognizes her as Queen Angella’s daughter. What was her name? Glitzy? Glitter?  
“I’m Glimmer,” she says. “I’ve seen you at those boring parties our parents like, but I don’t think we’ve ever actually met.”  
“Bow,” he replies, sitting up and examining his surroundings. There’s a picturesque waterfall trickling down into a larger pool, a comfortable-looking purple cushion and an assortment of flickering crystals hanging from the ceiling. Glimmer is kneeling next to him where he sits on the cool stone floor.  
“So why were you passed out in a field?”  
“I had an argument with my parents,” he says, solemnly. “I was running away.”  
Glimmer nods. “Say no more.”  
Bow remembers the bandages, suddenly clutching at his chest, only to find it bare under a white linen robe.   
“So, you totally don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” says Glimmer, gesturing to a side table, where Bow’s bandages lay in a pile. “But why would you do that to yourself?”  
Bow stares into his lap, thinking of how to phrase it best. “In my head,” he begins, “there’s a picture of me. Of who I want to be. Binding helps me match my real self to that picture.”  
“Oh! Like how I want to cut my hair but my aunt thinks I should keep it long?”  
He laughs. “Kind of.”  
Glimmer puts a palm on her own chest. “Anyway, I have lots of stuff that’s better than bandages. Gimme a sec.”  
The pink-haired girl bounces to her closet, digging through various unorganized piles until she pulls out a small article of clothing.  
“It might not be exactly what you’re looking for, but it’ll help with chest compression. I wore it a lot before my boobs got too big. Sorry it’s not a full shirt.”  
“Nah, it’s fine. I kind of like the tummy-out look,” says Bow, trying it on. He pauses, noting the angry red marks where the bandages cut into his skin. He runs his hands over them, feeling the textured flesh beneath. Things can’t go on like this, he thinks.  
“That looks like it hurts,” says Glimmer, eyeing the marks. “I don’t know what your story is, but there’s something I’ve heard about that might be able to solve your problem.”  
“I’m listening,” says Bow. At this point, he’s willing to try anything.

-  
-

Bow goes over the symptoms in his head: queasiness, dizziness, fatigue. The side effects of the procedure he’s about to undergo. As he feels the sickening weight of his breasts hanging unsupported inside his dressing gown, a renewed sense of affirmation wells in his chest. His body already makes him nauseous. He can handle the side effects.  
“Ready?” asks Papa as he slips into the waiting room.   
Bow nods. “Where’s Dad?”  
Papa frowns, answering with his gaze on his shoes. “He got busy.”  
“Meaning he didn’t want to come.”  
The man tenses. “You know he loves you very much. He’s just having a hard time understanding.”  
“I know,” sighs Bow. “But it’d be nice if he supported me anyway. This procedure isn’t permanent until I’m an adult. I feel like he’ll always be holding onto some hope that I’ll go back to being his daughter.”   
“You’re his son. Our son,” says Papa. “He’s stubborn, but he’ll come around. Did I ever tell you how long it took me to convince him I was serious about him?”  
“At least four times,” jokes Bow.  
“I haven’t heard the story!” chirps Glimmer, entering the room flanked by two healers. Between them floats a rectangular platform.  
Papa laughs. “I’ll tell you another time, Glimmer. Looks like they’re ready.”  
Bow waves goodbye to his father as Glimmer helps him onto the platform, not relinquishing his hand as the healers carry him down a long stretch of hallways. Noticing the look of unease on Bow’s face, she squeezes tighter.  
“Don’t worry. The royal healers are the best in all of Brightmoon! You’re going to be fine.”  
He smiles, feeling the warmth from his friend’s touch. “I know. I’ll see you when I get out.”  
She lets go as they round the final corner, bringing Bow into an enormous chamber with an abundance of floating lights. Numerous instruments are strewn throughout. Some, he is familiar with from Papa’s workshop; some, he’s never seen before.   
“We are going to begin,” says one of the healers, affixing a mask over her own mouth. “Breathe deeply.”  
Bow does, and as he inhales the miniature galaxy of lights surrounding him starts to glow, changing colors every few moments; blue, purple, green. The air fills with a sweet scent. Orange. Yellow. Back to green. He eyelids grow heavy. Red. Purple. Pink.

-  
-

“...awake? Hey, Bow! You awake?”  
He snaps into consciousness with a sharp intake of breath. A blurry image of Glimmer swirls in front of his eyes. When he’s able to focus, he sees the interior of the recovery room, flooded with light.   
“How are you feeling?” Glimmer asks.  
Bow sits up, slowly, shaking off some of the grogginess. He feels...lighter. With a burst of realization he runs his hands across his bare chest, feeling the flat surface with amazement.  
“Uh...how do I look?”  
She scrutinizes him, passing her gaze over his face, chest and forearms. “I don’t know. You still look like you but...different. Do you feel different?”  
Bow nods. “I feel like... I don’t know. Like it’s still me, but the way I was supposed to be from the start. Is my voice different? It sounds different in my head.”  
Glimmer nods. “It’s a little lower. I told you mom’s healers would do a good job!”  
“Yes!” exclaims Bow, leaping out of his bed. “Where’re my dads? I have to show-”  
Suddenly, he’s hit with a wave of nausea. Trying to keep the contents of his stomach in their place, Bow leans onto the bed.  
“You okay?” asks Glimmer, taking his hand to steady him.  
“Yeah. They said this would happen.”  
“Right. Well, once you’re feeling less dizzy, maybe put on some pants? Your chest isn’t all that changed.”  
Bow quickly glances downward and realizes she’s right. Finding a folded pair of linen pants on a side table, he dresses himself. When he looks back up at Glimmer, she’s beaming.  
“What’s up?” asks Bow.  
“I was just thinking,” she says. “I was worried before that you’d change and become someone else after this. But when I held your hand just now...it was bigger. It felt different. But it still felt like you. I guess I had nothing to worry about, huh? It’s still you in there.”  
Bow throws his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. “It’s still me.”

-  
-

“I can’t believe I forgot to go shopping!” groans Bow, throwing the entire contents of his wardrobe onto his floor. “I have literally nothing to wear!”  
“I’m pretty sure this doesn’t qualify as nothing,” says Papa, wading through a pile of trousers. “Are you sure you can’t wear any of this?”  
Bow glares. “Are you kidding me? Perfuma’s a total fashionista! How am I supposed to stand next to her at prom wearing any of this junk?”  
Papa gasps audibly. “You’re bringing a girl? Oh, god, it’s too early for this. I’m not ready to-”  
“No. No, it’s not like that!” Bow fumbles. “Perfuma’s just a friend. Why do people keep taking that the wrong way?”  
He sits down on his bed and puts his head in his hands. A moment later, he feels a warm hand on his shoulder.  
“Did something happen?” Papa asks, taking a seat next to him.   
Bow nods. “Glimmer’s upset because I’m going with someone else.”  
“I see,” says Papa. “And how do you feel about it?”  
“I think she’s being stupid! It’s not like we won’t all hang out the whole night anyway.”  
Papa smiles. “Try to understand her perspective. She wanted to spend the night with her best friend and now there’s someone else in the mix. I’m not saying you did anything wrong. It’s just a change she wasn’t prepared for.”  
“I know,” agrees Bow. “I’ve just been really distracted with all this She-Ra stuff. We’re right in the middle of saving the world! Princess Prom was supposed to be a little relief from that pressure. But now the world’s still in danger, Glimmer’s mad at me and I can’t find a single nice shirt!”  
The sound of throat-clearing causes Bow to look over. Dad is standing there, half in the doorway, looking unreadable as ever.  
“Apologies for overhearing,” he mutters. “But I might have a solution.”  
Bow’s stomach drops. He’s heard this line before, always before presenting Bow with some sort of feminine monstrosity. The dress when he was five. A skirt at age 11. Just before Bow’s operation, he’d given him a set of hairbows. The offerings were constant reminders that Dad had never really seen him as himself.  
“Thanks Dad, starts Bow. “But I really-”  
Dad’s eyes flash with desperation. “Please.”  
Bow nods. As Dad leaves to go retrieve whatever satin shower curtain he’s picked up this time, Bow exchanges a defeated look with Papa and steels himself for disappointment.  
But when Dad rounds the corner into Bow’s room holding an elegant tuxedo, accented with a pink vest, Bow can’t help but be surprised.  
“Dad…” he says. “It’s…”  
Dad frowns, scratching his head. “The color’s too feminine, isn’t it? I thought maybe you’d want to match with your date, but I bought other colors if you prefer.”  
Tentatively, Bow approaches the suit, sliding a hand across the front, admiring the floral embellishments. The fabric feels expensive, like something on-par with Dad’s ambassador attire. Bow can tell it will fit him perfectly. It was definitely chosen with care and tailored to exact specifications.  
The golden sparkles on the lapel swim out of focus as tears pool in his eyes. Dad is waiting expectantly for an answer, nervously tapping his free hand on the doorframe.   
Bow shoots a look at Papa, still on the bed. Papa isn’t looking at Bow, instead smiling with pride at his husband. When Bow catches his eye, he nods.  
“Is it... all right?” asks Dad.  
Bow smiles, a single tear falling down the length of his cheek. “It’s perfect.”

-  
-

A soft breeze rustles his hair as he reaches the base of the hill, streaks of sunset breaking through the trees and dappling his skin with warmth. He glances upward and, though he cannot see her, he knows she’s there, right on time. He’d told her to meet him on the hill at sunset, after all, and when had the warrior princess ever been late for anything important?  
“You sure you don’t want me to come?” asks Glimmer from behind.  
“Not at all,” Bow laughs. “I’m so nervous I could die. But I think I need to do this by myself.”  
Glimmer nods. “Ok. I’ll be here when you get back.”  
Bow takes a deep breath and a few steps forward before turning back to his friend. “What am I even telling her for? She already knows me like this. Am I being stupid?”  
“You’re being stupid, all right,” Glimmer says, giving Bow a good push in the chest. “Adora’s waiting for you and you’re chickening out!”  
“Because I’m scared, ok?” yells Bow, loud enough to startle a few birds. “We’ve been through a lot with Adora and I don’t want to lose what we have if she doesn’t...if she…”  
A tear wells up in his eye. Before it falls, Glimmer’s hand is already extended, presenting a lavender handkerchief. Bow takes it, dabbing at his eyes and blowing his nose before offering it back.  
“Ew, gross,” says Glimmer, rejecting the handkerchief. “Keep it.”  
Bow chuckles, admiring his headstrong friend in the intermittent sunlight. “Thanks for being here for me, Glimmer.”  
“Don’t get all sappy on me now,” she says, smiling nonetheless. “Look, Bow, I know this isn’t something I can ever really understand but...if there’s one thing I do understand, it’s that Adora won’t ditch you just because of how you were born. I mean, look at her! She was a Horde soldier until like, five minutes ago.”  
“I think it was a bit longer than that,” laughs Bow.  
“Anyway, give her a chance. She-Ra’s never let us down before, right?”  
Feeling a swell of affection for his best friend, Bow sweeps up the petite girl in a huge hug. “You’re right! Thanks, Glimmer.”  
“Ha ha ha! Hey, put me down!” she cries. Once deposited back in the grass, she continues: “You got this, Bow. Go talk to her. I’ll be waiting here for you to come back down. Both of you.”  
Bow nods, pivots on his heel and sprints up the hill.  
As he reaches the top, he sees a familiar figure, back turned to him, admiring the scenery of Brightmoon.  
“Sorry...I’m late…” Bow pants, leaning on his knees as he attempts to catch his breath.  
“It’s fine. The view from up here is beautiful,” replies Adora, turning to him. “So what’s up? You said you had something to tell me.”  
Bow swallows, feeling his nerves returning. But as he looks at his beaming friend, blonde hair stained pink in the light from the setting sun, he knows everything is going to be fine.


End file.
